Moving to another country is often shown in movies as an exciting montage of new places, instant friendships and overwhelming personal growth – all in the first week of school.
And while those moments absolutely do happen, there’s a much more common reality that many people experience: making friends abroad can be really, really hard.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing something wrong because you haven’t immediately slotted into a new friendship group, we promise you you’re absolutely not. What you’re experiencing is so normal, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t tough, so let’s talk about why it’s so hard, and some of the best ways you can make friends in a new country.
Why making friends abroad can feel so tough
One of the biggest challenges is starting from zero. For most people, friendships develop organically over the years through school, work or family connections that are built-in friends from day one.
Abroad, those networks you might have always taken for granted suddenly disappear. Now it feels like every social connection requires more effort, more intention and a level of emotional energy which, especially when you’re also trying to manage a new study load, can feel exhausting.
Language and cultural differences also play a role. Even if you speak the local language fluently, humour, body language and social norms can still feel unfamiliar. Seemingly small things, like how direct people are, or how often people socialise, can create invisible barriers. This can make interactions feel awkward or one-sided, even when everyone has good intentions.
Another factor is timing. Just like your relationships back home, locals often already have established friend groups, routines and commitments. They may be friendly and welcoming, but not actively looking for new close friendships. This can lead to surface-level connections that don’t deepen as quickly as you’d hoped.
Finally, it’s easy to get stuck in unrealistic expectations of what new friendships "should" look like. Many people arrive in their new country expecting friendships to form as easily as they do in movies or on social media. When that doesn’t happen right away, it’s easy to feel disappointed or lonely.
Setting realistic expectations (without losing hope)
Friendships abroad often take longer to develop, and they may look different from what you’re used to. Some friendships stay casual, some are situational, and some will become deep and long-lasting. All of these are valid.
It’s also worth remembering that loneliness isn’t a personal failure; it’s a natural response to a big life change. Feeling disconnected doesn’t mean you’re bad at making friends or that your experience abroad is ‘failing’.
That said, being an international student can actually make things easier in some ways. Many of the people around you are in the same position: new country, new routines and a completely new chapter of life. You’re rarely the only one hoping to make friends, even if it feels that way at first. That shared sense of uncertainty can be a powerful starting point for connection, and universities often recognise this by running events and creating spaces specifically designed to help international students meet others who are looking for the same thing.
Practical ways to make friends at university
Within uni, start with what’s built in. Orientation events, welcome weeks for clubs and societies and international student meetups are all great ways to meet like-minded people. It might feel awkward to begin with, but they exist for a reason. Everyone there is trying to meet people, even if they don’t look like it.
Joining societies or clubs is one of the most effective ways to make friends because it creates repeated contact around a shared interest. Whether it’s sports, volunteering, debate or a cultural group, familiarity over time helps friendships form naturally without feeling like you’re having to chase people.
Group work, study sessions, and even sitting next to the same people in lectures can also open doors. A simple ‘Do you want to grab a coffee after class?’ can go a long way.
Making friends outside of uni
Not all friendships have to come from campus. Part-time jobs, language exchanges, gyms, dance classes and volunteering are all great ways to meet people with similar interests. Social apps and platforms specifically designed for making friends can also help, and are widely used these days. Apps like Bunchups, Bumble For Friends and Meetup were created for the exact purpose of bringing people together around shared activities, making it easier to meet others without the pressure of one-on-one socialising.
